proc_macro: use crossbeam channels for the proc_macro cross-thread bridge
This is done by having the crossbeam dependency inserted into the `proc_macro` server code from the server side, to avoid adding a dependency to `proc_macro`.
In addition, this introduces a -Z command-line option which will switch rustc to run proc-macros using this cross-thread executor. With the changes to the bridge in #98186, #98187, #98188 and #98189, the performance of the executor should be much closer to same-thread execution.
In local testing, the crossbeam executor was substantially more performant than either of the two existing `CrossThread` strategies, so they have been removed to keep things simple.
r? `@eddyb`
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