BTreeMap: move up reference to map's root from NodeRef
Since the introduction of `NodeRef` years ago, it also contained a mutable reference to the owner of the root node of the tree (somewhat disguised as *const). Its intent is to be used only when the rest of the `NodeRef` is no longer needed. Moving this to where it's actually used, thought me 2 things:
- Some sort of "postponed mutable reference" is required in most places that it is/was used, and that's exactly where we also need to store a reference to the length (number of elements) of the tree, for the same reason. The length reference can be a normal reference, because the tree code does not care about tree length (just length per node).
- It's downright obfuscation in `from_sorted_iter` (transplanted to #75329)
- It's one of the reasons for the scary notice on `reborrow_mut`, the other one being addressed in #73971.
This does repeat the raw pointer code in a few places, but it could be bundled up with the length reference.
r? `@Mark-Simulacrum`
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